Miss Link's Blog

Mark part 7

His car was dead. It would take some money to repair it. Quite a lot of money in fact. Mark wasn't sure his car was worth repairing at this stage. The red Subaru driver was a gorgeous woman who didn't even seem that mad that he had cut her off and half destroyed both cars. In fact she was even flirting with him. Yet that left him strangely cold and uneasy. It was the first time he was refusing a woman's advances. He thought maybe the accident was worrying him, and closing his system to romance. Anyway it was almost 7pm, he was 10 minutes away from Philip's place, with no car to get there anymore. He grabbed his phone, and before he even contacted the insurance, he called Philip who agreed to come and get him in his car. Relieved, Mark then took care of the insurance paper and of settling the situation with Susan, the other driver. When Philip got there, Mark's face broke into a huge smile. He left his car on the side of the road for the breakdown truck to collect it, and climbed into Philip's car. He felt strangely giddy in his presence. They joked and laughed throughout the ten minutes drive to Philip's house. They talked about Spain, where Philip wanted to move, and Mark mentioned his house in Galicia to him, and offered to rent it to him until he found something. Philip accepted with a warmhearted, and was still laughing at the possibilities that were opening in front of him when he got out of the car in front of his house. Immediately his face lost its joy, as he looked toward the door. An older woman was there, and Mark sensed the tension between Philip and her. He understood that it was his mother, and that she didn't know that he was leaving.

After a short discussion, she left, and he went into the house with Philip. They walked around, estimating the house for a good hour. Mark could feel that Philip was still angered by his mother's visit, or rather intrusion as he would say. When they finished the estimation, Mark and Philip sat down around the kitchen table, and Philip opened a bottle of wine. Mark was hopeful that he could sell the house while Philip was already looking for something in Spain. He even agreed to lend Philip some money. They opened a second bottle of wine and went further into imagining the future. By the end of the night they had planned everything. Mark would take care of selling Philip's house and car, he would also sell his house, and then would join Philip in the house in Spain, where they would start a new life. In the merry atmosphere that alcohol brings sometimes, they kissed, and Mark spent the night there. He didn't want to think that Philip was a man, and that all the plans they had made meant a gigantic change in his life. Philip didn't want to think about it either. There was always going to be time to think about it later. Yes. Later.

The end.

Pierre 7ème partie

Pierre décida de commander une pizza. Il était trop las pour imaginer cuisiner, et l'heure d'exercice intense l'avait affamé. Quand enfin il s'attabla devant le carton, son esprit était déjà un peu plus calme. Il continua à sentir les piques de son mal-être comme un bruit de fond qui vrille les oreilles, tandis qu'il mangeait la pizza, part après part. Arrivé à la fin de son repas, il décida d'ouvrir une bouteille de vin, histoire d'apaiser un peu le monstre qui mordait l'intérieur de son cerveau. Mais, verre après verre, il lui sembla que le monstre prenait de plus en plus de force et de place. A la fin de la bouteille, il était ivre, et très déprimé. Pas vraiment de pensées précises, pas de thème de base qui puisse expliquer cette tristesse. Juste l'impression que sa vie était nulle et que de toute façon il avait tout raté, il ratait toujours tout et que franchement à quoi bon vivre. Il poussa un soupir, et eut un sursaut d'instinct de survie. Toujours bouger. Il se leva. Qu'est-ce qu'il pourrait bien faire pour se sentir mieux, là tout de suite? C'était urgent. Il ressentit le besoin de contact, de communication, de sentir qu'il n'était pas seul. Et comme toujours dans ses moments là, son corps le propulsa vers le téléphone, et il composa de tête le numéro de son ami et maître spirituel Rahul.

Rahul était un indien de son âge qui avait vécu la plus grande partie de sa vie dans un Ashram, et qui en avait tiré des leçons de sagesse à la limite de l'illumination. Pierre l'avait rencontré lors d'un voyage aux Etats Unis alors qu'ils étaient tous les deux étudiants, et ils étaient restés en contact de loin en loin. Rahul était maintenant professeur d'université en Inde, et spécialiste des spiritualités asiatiques.

Pierre attendit un moment avant que la sonnerie n'indique que l'appel avait atteint le téléphone de son correspondant. Une voix ensommeillée lui répondit, et Pierre se rendit compte avec honte qu'il avait oublié que c'était le milieu de la nuit là-bas. Rahul ne lui en tint absolument pas rigueur, et parut au contraire ravi de l'appel. Pierre et Rahul parlèrent longtemps. Très longtemps pour un appel transcontinental. Mais pour Pierre, c'était égal. Lorsqu'il raccrocha, un sourire ornait de nouveau son visage, et il alla immédiatement sur internet pour réserver des billets d'avion pour l'Inde. Il était temps de changer. Il était temps de s'occuper de ce qui était vraiment important.

Fin

Mark part 5

Mark ran the simulation as soon as the receptionist took her lunch break. He found out that Philip's house, with the additions and improvements he had made, was worth £180,000, which was £ 30,000 more than the price he had bought it for at the time. No doubt this was going to be good news for Philip. He called back straight away. Philip answered after one ring, clearly expecting the call.

“Yes Mark, any news”

“Great news Philip!!” He told him about the simulation, and agreed to drop by within an hour to deliver a “For Sale” sign to start moving on the sale. They also agreed to meet for a visit of the house after the end of his working day, around 7pm. Mark knew that, computer or no computer, the day was going to be busy with all the owners to visit.

He went for his lunch break at 1pm, and ate a sandwich in the park next to his work. He felt satisfied. There was something about Philip calling him that made him happy. He kept telling himself that it was ridiculous, and that it was just a customer, he still felt a bit giddy about the phone call, and meeting him later. Mark wondered if it had anything to do with Philip being his first customer, some kind of superstitious feeling.

He went back to work without working it out. He just felt happy meeting that guy. So he grabbed the “For Sale” sign with the name and phone number of the agency, and drove to Philip's house.

Philip was waiting for him in the porch. He went to him with extended arms as soon as the car turned into the alley. They shook hands enthusiastically, and Mark took the sign out from the boot of his Renault, and Philip fetched a hammer to plant it into the ground.

Once that was done, they shook hands again, and Mark turned around to get back to his car. Philip held him back for a second, asking him if he wanted a coffee. Mark hesitated. He knew he wasn't supposed to stay here that long, he had loads of other owners to visit. Yet he couldn't resist. He pressed on his remote control key to lock the car, and followed Philip inside.

Pierre 5ème partie

Après le repas, Pierre se dirigea d'un pas lourd vers son bureau. Il fit un crochet par la machine à café, où il salua quelques employés. Il fit quelques faux sourires, puis préféra s'isoler pour ruminer sans avoir à faire comme si tout allait bien. Il posa son café sur son bureau, ferma soigneusement la porte et même les stores vénitiens.

Il s'assit sur son fauteuil de direction en cuir, et pris la tête entre ses mains. Et maintenant, quoi? Pris d'une impulsion soudaine, il composa un numéro qu'il connaissait encore par cœur.

« Allô? »

« Bonjour Brigitte. » Sa voix tremblait un peu. Il entendit une hésitation chez son interlocutrice, puis: « Pierre. Ca fait un bail. »

Son ex-femme avait toujours la même voix. Grave et sensuelle, virant dans les aigus lorsqu'elle se mettait en colère. Il eut envie de laisser cette voix lui couler dessus comme du miel.

« Que deviens-tu depuis le temps? Comment va Stéphanie? »

« Stéphanie va bien merci. Moi aussi d'ailleurs. Tout va bien. Et tu appelles pour quoi au juste? »

Pierre se demanda s'il pouvait dire la vérité, qu'il voulait juste entendre sa voix, la sentir proche pendant quelques instants, comme une boîte de biscuits en haut de l'étagère qu'on arrive presque à atteindre en grimpant sur un tabouret. Il finit par répondre sans mentir tout-à-fait: « Je voulais prendre de vos nouvelles, voir si Stéphanie aurait envie de me voir, passer une soirée avec moi. Elle devient grande maintenant. »

Le silence pesa quelques instants, puis Brigitte répondit: « Je lui demanderai. Sinon tout va bien. Te voilà rassuré? Il faut que j'y aille maintenant. »

« Bien sûr. Tiens moi au courant pour Stéphanie. Au revoir. »

Il raccrocha et remarqua que ses mains tremblaient. Il fit un effort pour reprendre le contrôle de ses émotions, et se remit au travail.

Mark part 3

Mark wandered aimlessly in the streets, looking often at his watch to be sure not to miss the 10am meeting. He passed the bakery and the cafe, not feeling hungry or thirsty yet. He would have liked to stop and sit down somewhere, but wasn't sure where to do that without having to order something. He decided to stop at the library. It was very quiet at that time, right after opening. He grabbed a book randomly and sat down at a table. It happened to be a book about crusades. He read three lines, closed the book again and put it down on the table. He passed his hand on his face. What now? His stomach felt tight. He found it hard to stay quietly on a chair. It felt as if he had a whole tribe of flees jumping up and down in his belly. Anxious impatience. He stood up again, resumed his aimless walking and was back at the agency a few minutes before 10. The meeting was as boring as he expected. He caught himself looking at his watch about thirteen times within half an hour. Bored to death. What now? What was he going to do next?

He felt deeply unstable. Unsatisfied. He tried to think, but couldn't find any root cause to his anxiety. He got up in the middle of the meeting to pour himself a cup of coffee, asked if Simon wanted some. Simon shook his head and went on explaining the new legislation. Mark listened distractedly, wondering what was wrong with him. He managed to hold on until the end of the meeting, and went out of the room as soon as Simon said it was over. Simon called him back.

“Hey Mark, do you think you could tidy up the files closet? It's a huge mess. It would take you until lunch, and this afternoon you can go visit the owners.” Mark nodded and started immediately. Something to do. Good. He needed something to do.

Yet that activity didn't take enough brain space to prevent him from thinking, or from feeling incredibly nervous. He wondered if the alcohol was creating that feeling. Or the coffee. Or some deeper darker reason he hadn't managed to fish from his mind yet. He took a deep breath. And decided to go for lunch at 12:30pm.

Pierre 3ème partie

La réunion se passa plutôt bien. Pierre consigna les résultats des discussions juste après avoir raccompagné les managers à leur bureau provisoire, et vérifia ses courriels. Il en était là quand Gilles frappa. Il aimait bien Gilles. Il se retrouvait beaucoup en lui, et se rappelait avec nostalgie de sa vie quand il avait l'âge de Gilles. De plus, c'était son meilleur manager, et il était fier de ses résultats. Il lui fit signe d'entrer, et lui demanda immédiatement où en étaient ses plus gros dossiers, pensant que c'était la raison de sa visite. Mais Gilles partit sur un terrain personnel. Un terrain difficile pour Pierre. Il se reconnaissait bien trop dans son poulain.

Gilles voulait du temps. Du temps pour réparer ce que son absence et son manque d'attention, et peut-être son arrogance aussi, avaient abîmé. Pierre eut envie de lui demander s'il pensait vraiment que c'était possible de réparer des relations qu'on a négligées pendant longtemps. Mais il ne dit rien. Il l'encouragea, bien sûr Gilles prenez du temps, réparez ce que moi je n'ai pas su réparer. Ayez le succès que je n'ai pas eu, et si ça marche, donnez-moi votre recette.

Pierre dut avouer qu'il admirait la capacité de Gilles à se remettre en question. Capacité que lui-même n'avait pas eu à l'époque. Il se demanda si cela aurait changé le cours de sa vie, s'il avait pu garder un peu d'humilité et accepter ses torts. Ses yeux se remplirent d'une nostalgie qui les fit briller presque autant que des larmes. Il ravala son émotion et dit: « Mais que voulez-vous, la vie continue, et on ne peut pas se laisser abattre trop longtemps. »